-”People with autism, primarily due to underlying neurology (the way the brain's wiring works), are unusually vulnerable to everyday emotional and physiological challenges. So they experience more feelings of discomfort, anxiety, and confusion than others. They also have more difficulty learning how to cope with these feelings and challenges.”
Prizant, B. M. (2015) Uniquely Human. Simon & Schuster: New York, New York. p. 18.

-”To be clear: Difficulty staying well regulated emotionally and physiologically should be a core, defining feature of autism.”
Prizant, B. M. (2015) Uniquely Human. Simon & Schuster: New York, New York. p. 18.

-”If you know a person with autism, consider what makes this person less able to stay well regulated: problems in communicating, environments that are chaotic, people who are confusing because thay talk or move too quickly, unexpected change, excessive worry about things that are uncertain. Then there are associated challenges, such as sensory sensitivities to touch and sound, motor and movement disturbances, sleep deprivation, allergies, and gastrointestinal issues.”
Prizant, B. M. (2015) Uniquely Human. Simon & Schuster: New York, New York. p. 18.

-”Here is the important irony: Most of the behaviors commonly labeled "autistic behaviors" aren't actually deficits at all. They're strategies the person uses to feel better regulated emotionally.”
Prizant, B. M. (2015) Uniquely Human. Simon & Schuster: New York, New York. p. 20.

-”Whether or not we realize it, all humans employ these rituals and habits to help us regulate ourselves--soothe ourselves, calm our minds and bodies, and help us cope.”
Prizant, B. M. (2015) Uniquely Human. Simon & Schuster: New York, New York. p. 21.

-”For people with autism, comforting rituals and coping mechanisms come in all varieties: moving in particular ways, speaking in various patterns, carrying familiar items, lining up objects to create predictable and unchanging surroundings. Even proximity to certain people can serve as a regulating strategy.”
Prizant, B. M. (2015) Uniquely Human. Simon & Schuster: New York, New York. p. 21.

-”If people with autism feel underaroused, they increase their alertness by spinning, bouncing, or swinging. If they're overstimulated, they might calm themselves by pacing, snapping their fingers, or staring at a fan.”
Prizant, B. M. (2015) Uniquely Human. Simon & Schuster: New York, New York. p. 22.

-”Indeed many children with autism regulate themselves by trying to control their surroundings--by seeking sameness. That isn't a pathological symptom. It's a coping strategy.”
Prizant, B. M. (2015) Uniquely Human. Simon & Schuster: New York, New York. p. 22.

-”But when a child with autism seeks out the same clothing or music or creates visual order by organizing items, it's because the child has learned that these things help him to emotionally regulate himself so he can function.”
Prizant, B. M. (2015) Uniquely Human. Simon & Schuster: New York, New York. p. 23.

-”Parents almost always know their children better than anyone else does. And based on innumerable shared experiences over so many years, every family develops its own language: its own familiar phrases, its own terms, its own shorthand. In other words, every family develops its own culture that allows for mutual communication, understanding, and support.”
Prizant, B. M. (2015) Uniquely Human. Simon & Schuster: New York, New York. pp. 45-46.

-”My simple advice: Listen, observe, and ask "Why?"”
Prizant, B. M. (2015) Uniquely Human. Simon & Schuster: New York, New York. p. 50.

-”Many children find the predictability and consistency of animated characters (as well as the music) comforting, a welcome contrast to the unpredictable nature of real people in everday situations. In Monsters, Inc. or Madagascar, the characters' vocal, facial, and body language is exaggerated, making emotions easier to decipher for such children. People with autism also find the clear delineation of good and evil characters an appealing alternative to the more nuanced gray areas they encounter in real life. And repetitive viewings engender a reassuring sense of familiarity and mastery.”
Prizant, B. M. (2015) Uniquely Human. Simon & Schuster: New York, New York. pp. 50-51.

-”Children with autism develop all kinds of enthusiams, talking nonstop about or focusing endlessly on subjects like skyscrapers, animal species, geopgraphy, particular kinds of music, sunrise and sunset times, or turnpike exits. Perhaps focusing on one topic gives the child a sense of control, of predictability and security in a world that can be unpredictable and feel scary.”
Prizant, B. M. (2015) Uniquely Human. Simon & Schuster: New York, New York. p. 54.

-”But discouraging an enthusiasm can be just another way of dismantling a strategy that helps a child with autism feel better regulated--or worse, removing a source of interest and joy.”
Prizant, B. M. (2015) Uniquely Human. Simon & Schuster: New York, New York. p. 55.

-”These deep interests can help children stay more engaged and attentive. They can be used to motivate learning and to enable participation in situations that might otherwise be difficult.”
Prizant, B. M. (2015) Uniquely Human. Simon & Schuster: New York, New York. p. 60.

-”Many people with autism find it helpful to bring a toy or other item or an activity related to an enthusiasm to settings that may pose difficulties, such as restaurants, family events, or larger group activities at school. Almost any enthusiasm can help in this manner.”
Prizant, B. M. (2015) Uniquely Human. Simon & Schuster: New York, New York. p. 61.

-”One significant reason many children focus on a particular topic is that it gives them a safe place to start a conversation. Even the most obscure, out-of-context, and seemingly irrelevant question ("What's your favorite dog breed?" "What kind of refrigerator do you have?") can be a strategy to connect.”
Prizant, B. M. (2015) Uniquely Human. Simon & Schuster: New York, New York. pp. 63-64.

-”For a person with autism, social interactions can provoke anxiety and confusion because they have no fixed structure and one can't always predict what another person will say. So a person with autism will try to create predictability by limiting the conversation to an area in which he has mastery.”
Prizant, B. M. (2015) Uniquely Human. Simon & Schuster: New York, New York. p. 69.

-”Though they come with challenges, enthusiasms often represent the greatest potential for people with autism. What begins as a strong interest or passion can become a way to connect with others with similar interests, a life long hobby, or, in many cases, a career.”
Prizant, B. M. (2015) Uniquely Human. Simon & Schuster: New York, New York. p. 70.

-”Because of their neurological challenges, people with autism face tremendous obstacles of three kinds: trusting their body, trusting the world around them, and--most challenging of all--trusting other people.”
Prizant, B. M. (2015) Uniquely Human. Simon & Schuster: New York, New York. p. 73.

-"The most significant trust-related challenge for people with autism is trusting other people. Most of us are neurologically hardwired with the ability to predict the behavior of others--to read body language intuitively and make subconscious judgments based on how relaxed a person's body is, on how a person looks at other people, or by the social context. But that is often more difficult for people with autism."
Prizant, B. M. (2015) Uniquely Human. Simon & Schuster: New York, New York. p. 78.

-"Not knowing whom to trust or what a person might do next means living in a constant state of vigilance, like the soldiers who work on bomb-disposal teams."
Prizant, B. M. (2015) Uniquely Human. Simon & Schuster: New York, New York. p. 78.

-"What I have learned from my years of experience, and from valued friends on the spectrum, is that rather than demanding or pressuring the person with autism to change, we must change first. When we change, the person with autism changes too."
Prizant, B. M. (2015) Uniquely Human. Simon & Schuster: New York, New York. p. 90.

-"By persistently giving the message "You must change," we are inadvertently communicating "You're not getting it right. You're screwing up." Thus we quash self-esteem and, ultimately, trust. The child cannot trust other people to offer understanding and support. The child cannot trust that the world is a safe place. As a result, anxiety mounts."
Prizant, B. M. (2015) Uniquely Human. Simon & Schuster: New York, New York. p. 90.

-"It's a perfect storm: a child has a powerful ability to remember the past, and because of neurological challenges, she also has accumulated more stressful experiences than typical peers because of the confusion, social misunderstandings, and sensory issues that come with autism."
Prizant, B. M. (2015) Uniquely Human. Simon & Schuster: New York, New York. p. 96.

-"Of course that's the most helpful strategy of all: helping to create a life full of positive memories. As parents and professionals, we help to do that whenever we offer choices instead of exerting control; whenever we foster the child's interests and honor the child's strengths rather than redirecting; whenever we make learning, work, and life fun and joyful."
Prizant, B. M. (2015) Uniquely Human. Simon & Schuster: New York, New York. p. 107.

-”Human beings are hardwired to be socially intuitive, but autism poses challenges to developing that intuition.”
Prizant, B. M. (2015) Uniquely Human. Simon & Schuster: New York, New York. p. 109.

-”Typically people induce the often subtle, invisible conventions of social interaction. They learn by a process of immersion and osmosis, along with periodic coaching ("Please do not interrupt while Mommy's talking to Grandpa."). But for people with autism, the nature of their disability makes it very difficult to survey the social landscape and induce these rules. They can learn them, but it';'s like learning a second language as an adult, when it's much harder to achieve the same fluency and comfort as native speakers.”
Prizant, B. M. (2015) Uniquely Human. Simon & Schuster: New York, New York. p. 110.

-”When people with autism display behavior that appears to be abrupt or rude, or when they simply seem ablivious, it is often because their neurological wiring makes it difficult to weigh the many subliminal factors that help us read social situations.”
Prizant, B. M. (2015) Uniquely Human. Simon & Schuster: New York, New York. p. 112.

-"Language can be a barrier to social understanding because people with autism tend to interpret language literally, and we often do not say what we mean. That's why they can find metaphors, sarcasm, and other nonliteral uses of language endlessly confounding."
Prizant, B. M. (2015) Uniquely Human. Simon & Schuster: New York, New York. pp. 115-116.

-"As much as our culture purports to value truth and candor, interacting with people with autism can make us realize how truly deceptive and dishonest the social world requires us to be."
Prizant, B. M. (2015) Uniquely Human. Simon & Schuster: New York, New York. p. 118.

-"If it's difficult for children on the spectrum to comprehend the subtle, hidden rules of social interaction, it can be even more challenging to gain an understanding of emotions--their own and those of others."
Prizant, B. M. (2015) Uniquely Human. Simon & Schuster: New York, New York. p. 124.

-"Emotions are abstract, intangible, and difficult to grasp, and people with autism often find it challenging to communicate about such matters, especially when doing so requires self-reflection. In the past some professionals and others have mistakenly believed that this difficulty and discomfort talking about feelings meant that people with autism somehow lacked emotion. Of course that's not true. They experience the same full range of human emotions we all do. If anything, theirs are magnified. Their challenge is understanding and expressing their own emotions and reading the emotion in others."
Prizant, B. M. (2015) Uniquely Human. Simon & Schuster: New York, New York. p. 125.

-"Emotions involve both cognitive and physiological reactions. We not only feel; we reflect on how we are feeling and why. We also experience emotions in our body."
Prizant, B. M. (2015) Uniquely Human. Simon & Schuster: New York, New York. p. 127.

-"A more effective approach is introducing a label--happy, silly, giddy, anxious--at the moment the person is experiencing that feeling. (For some people it's more appropriate to make the connection between a visual image such as a photograph and the person's feeling.) That way, he learns to express and communicate a cognitive-emotional experience, not just a facial expression. Once the person understands the emotion, he can learn categories of experiences he associates with that feeling."
Prizant, B. M. (2015) Uniquely Human. Simon & Schuster: New York, New York. pp. 127-128.

-”Conversations typically involve looking at the person you're talking to as well as moments of looking away from the person. That gives us a moment to gather our thoughts, to relax, to regulate ourselves.”
Prizant, B. M. (2015) Uniquely Human. Simon & Schuster: New York, New York. p. 129.

-”Many people with autism say that it is often easier to focus on what a person is saying without the extra burden and stress of watching the person's face.”
Prizant, B. M. (2015) Uniquely Human. Simon & Schuster: New York, New York. p. 130.

-"Our job and obligation is to make sure that the right supports are in place, including the right people. Despite the fears some professionals instill, there is no limit on a person's potential. For all of us-- including people with autism--development is a lifelong process."
Prizant, B. M. (2015) Uniquely Human. Simon & Schuster: New York, New York. p. 150.

-"There is no one professional or clinic, no magical place, no treatment approach offering all the answers and the plan to render a child "normal" so that families can put autism behind them and move on with their lives."
Prizant, B. M. (2015) Uniquely Human. Simon & Schuster: New York, New York. p. 209.

-"Here are my top priorities: building self-expression and self-esteem, instilling happiness, creating positive experiences, and emphasizing healthy relationships. It's also important to increase self-awareness and the ability to emotionally self-regulate."
Prizant, B. M. (2015) Uniquely Human. Simon & Schuster: New York, New York. p. 215.

-"When you have positive emotional experiences, it motivates you to learn and explore, connect with other people, and seek out more varied experiences."
Prizant, B. M. (2015) Uniquely Human. Simon & Schuster: New York, New York. p. 215.

-"When a child is anxious and edgy or sullen and dour, others avoid her. But if the same children encounter a child who is cheerful, smiling, and playful, they are drawn to him. Happiness is a natural connector."
Prizant, B. M. (2015) Uniquely Human. Simon & Schuster: New York, New York. p. 215.

-"Children--and all human beings--learn more readily when they are happy. They retain information more effectively when they feel positive emotion."
Prizant, B. M. (2015) Uniquely Human. Simon & Schuster: New York, New York. p. 215.

-"Instead of narrowly focusing on academics or letting the standard curriculum be the guide, it's essential to consider the development of the whole person and to make the necessary accommodations and choices that foster happiness and availability for learning and engaging. That results in the best quality of life."
Prizant, B. M. (2015) Uniquely Human. Simon & Schuster: New York, New York. p. 216.

-”When parents and teachers and members of extended communities offer choices and empower individuals with autism, we not only help to advance their minds; we also energize their spirits.”
Prizant, B. M. (2015) Uniquely Human. Simon & Schuster: New York, New York. p. 218.